il paese di confusione

Thinking of studying abroad or visiting Italy? If yes, please note the following:

• When looking to buy fruit, never grab it yourself...or else. You will most definitely get yelled at
• When lost and in need of direction, skip women and ask men—preferably nice old Italian men.
• Vendors will often try to cheat you of change. I may not be Italian, but I'm not stupid. I know my (basic) math.
• Any Italian man who checks you out will be sure to make it known. Prepare to be stared at directly in the eyes for upwards of three seconds, kissed at, kissed, and/or approached.
• Italians live on carbs, especially bread. You will succumb to it.
• You better know what type of pasta goes with what kind of sauce. If you don't, you may offend the waitress or waiter. Italians take their food seriously. No joke.
• Acqua frizzante is the shizz in Italy. And trust me, carbonated water grows on you. 
• The vast majority of shops and restaurants close EARLY. Good luck finding a late night snack. [[definitely not in the land of fast food anymore]]
• Italian children are so much cuter than American brats. True story.
• All stores will have "saldi" on their windows. They are liars. Not everything is on sale. A sale is not a deduction of 5 euros off of a 300 euro sweater. No. Just no.
• It's Italy. Let's be honest. You won't get any work done. 
• You will spend way more money than you want or think you're spending. Think euros, not dollars.
• The difference in voltage will suck. Having enough converters is a pain in the rear end. 
• Most Italian men are beautiful and/or just plain creepy. Caution.
• Most Italian women are gorgeous. Life isn't fair. Get over it.
• Aperitivo is THE best. Basically, at around dinner time many bars and restaurants will charge a basic cover charge for a drink (5-10 euros) and have an unlimited buffet of food for you to choose from. If you're a smart, hungry, and starving foreigner, you'll take advantage of this and starve yourself all day, only to take advantage of this when the sun sets.
• You'll find it super easy to cheat the bus system. They charge 1.50 per ride, but eh, there's nobody to check the tickets. Be warned: if they do catch you, you're fined something like 80 euro. My solution: run for your life if you see a man/woman checking tickets. That's my plan. :)
• Italians like to drink, and unlike the binge culture back in the states, they drink for enjoyment. That doesn't mean they don't party hard...
• Wine. Wine. Wine. It's Italy, home of the best wine on earth. You're in wine heaven.
• Old ladies are more stylish than you will ever be. Purple hair, fur coats, and snazzy sunglasses. Try to contain the hating.
• Jehovah Witnesses exist in Italy, albeit remixed. There was a ring in the apartment (meaning someone was at the front gate waiting to be let it), and when I picked up the phone to question who it was and what they wanted, I got a surrrrprise! They wanted to come up and give me some enlightenment..... 
• Italians and their hands....they have a gesture for everything. Everything. 
• Useful phrases: ciao. mi dispiace. non capisco. puoi ripetere. sono straniera. non parlo l'italiano. che cazzo! che cosa. 
• Any man who approaches you most likely does not have good intentions. Men are blunt here. 
• Cities die on Sundays. Stores close and people never leave their home! 
• Prepare to walk everywhere (or buy a bike and get it stolen the next day).